Thursday, April 30, 2009

Finally im into 21....

Hurm.. actually its already few days past i enter into 21... Im young adult...huh.... should i?? I more enjoy continue to be childish lo to be care and love by family and friends... Hehe... That night is really a very toturing night as i have to prepare for my final examination Engineering Mathematics Paper... Gosh.. the most memorable birthday present... Getting the toughest paper during this semester...
By the time tickling on 12am, i receive the very first birthday wish from Dai Lou and then followed by few friends then DD send for me... I did receive several phone call as well that night.. Really cool night and relaxable night after my hard night studying.. Having chat cool man.. But time pass really fast, just awhile its already 2am... i have to take early rest and continue my study at 6am...meanwhile i really not feeling well also that night.. having headache..
Now its come to the time that i going to sit for my exam.. I really stress and worry that i cant do well in the test.. Not good well enough preparation. by the time i receive the paper, i not dare to see at Stoke's theorem, Gauss's Theorem, Green;s Theorem , line integral and surface intergal questions.... I scare after i look through, event he first question i also cannot answer...
3 hours later, hurm, i already try my best and do my best to score as maximum marks as i can. I didnt even put a single question blank... At least the same mark will be given on formula or what. Then, i really hungry during that time until gosh something very ashame happen during the exam. But forget about it. Then all of us plan to go out for lunch and celebration for my birthday and finish final examination.
We arrive Jusco Tebrau at 2pm and having our lunch at Ichiban Ramens. Nice place to eat yet the price is also quite nice but i didnt think twice... Once in my life time... Before that , we did sometime funny as well. After settle down and arrange table for us, after looking on the menu, then everyone of us stand up and just leave the restaurant because some of them say the food not going to make us full.. haha..
After lunch, we went for movie time... Hurm..we decided to watch The Sniper, and gosh,,, cool man.. all the actors all nice good looking lo... But i wondering what so good about Edison until he got such a nice news.. haha... really salute him... wakaka... wish to be like him,?? no thank wakaka......
Our last destination.... SIng K at Redbox.. haha.. our tradition already.. hurm... but addtional, we can have buffet as our dinner.. wow cool man.. i really like to eat buffet and so wish if everyday can have buffet as well.. wakakak.... We sing until 11pm from 6pm... before we going back, Tham our representative join a game of blowing the balloon until unsustainable.. hehe.. Booommmmm.... But the result is, we lose... wakaka.. nevermind just a games... hehe...
This the way i celebrate my birthday... but sadly, i dont have candle and cake to blow and eat respectively.... But if u ask whether im happy or not, my answer is yes... But i still feel sad sometime when i didnt eat tiramitsu.. but the next day, i went out with my friend that i first time meet which i know him through networking and he treats me a birthday dinner.. belated.. haha.. i dont mind at least got people treat me ma... really thankful to him. On my way back from City Square after meeting him, Wai Shin my direct senior messages me asking where am i and he gave me surprise than he cheated me go out from my room and put secret recipe and a present on my bed without my noticing all that to happen.. Huh.. really thief la...
Last but not least, all this are really my best memories for this year i think....... i hope more to come to make my life more colorful before i breath the last breath.... I love all... all for love.. hehe..

Saturday, April 25, 2009

Sad day of Saturday...

Today i promise that i will study hard because tomorrow i going to sit for my mass balance test. Actually i have choir practice at church yet im not going.. Due to my yesterday Thermodynamics test, lacking of nice relaxable sleep causes me to have headache and tired today. I making an excuses from Leo that im not going today.
I wake up at 8 something today and start open my book and read all the example. While reading i watching movie, ZOOOM SUPERHERO ACADEMIC. hurm... wasting time for sure as i watch more than i read. Haiz...Feel very guilty because i like not fulfilling what i had promise to u...
In the afternoon, something bad happen. Haiz... better than i dont want to go check at first.aAter checking my mark for TITAS, i lost my control. I really sad but i dont know what can i do.. its too late for me to change anything. I just read past year but all done by last minute. Want to feel sad for myself but i didnt put effort in it.. So i cant blame anyone jus tcan blame myself.
But everything is too late now. This thing may causes me to drop out of my dream class and dean list. I wishes to get all 8 dean list in this university. Hurm.. if after this nothing much different happen due to what i expect, i still manage to maintain my marks, my pointer 3.71
or even able to up 0.01...
Because of all this thing happen, i almost quarrel with DD and today we like having cold war for a moment. At night then everything recover back to normal. I really bad mood until all those stuff will happen in my life. I like no one to voice out my feeling just like a dumb. Haiz.. who can understand how i feel. i really need someone to really care for me at that moment yet i switch off my phone and let no one able to reach me. All is because of what i have done, and not other dont care for me.
I feel so helpless and no guidance at all. I want to quit yet i cant and not motivated. This is the only way i have to continue my journey. Hurm. I have to tell myself that the journey just started. I still manage to choose how i walk this journey. This sem i might fall a little, but i promise the rest of my journey i will walked a colorful graduation.....2012 waiting for me.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

The hardest day in my life... torturing...

Today, i feel so empty and really really empty... feeling that i enter into Day of Testify.... Alone with u, alone with everything... i dont know how to express my feeling... just like an empty can.... an empty can beside the road even happier than me, able to kicked by people around, but me?? not even a person i able to see whole day..
With this stressful week, facing this type of situation is really hard for me. I dont have the strength to go on if this thing continuously happen to me. I want to keep in touch with u, yet unable to keep in touch.... everyone just like leaving me far far away...
Is it a mistake for me to keep in touch with other by chatting and exchanging number?? For me, im addicted into this... networking is part of my life.... yet must trust me that my heart is truly just with u...
Today the first time i drop my very first drop of tear due to the way u treat me... i dont think this the first quarrel but this time really hurting me so deep... no one will understand... hungriness plus emptiness are really hard for me to overcome when both come togehter... will loneliness come to attack me as well??

Monday, April 20, 2009

The Burden of Second Semester

As time past goes by, now is already the end of my second semester of my studies. Sometime feels that still long where to go for me to graduate, but sometime really terribly scaring me that i going to graduate very soon cause third sem is coming just ahead of me.
This semester really killing me very hard. After all, i really done badly in my test for every subjects that i take this sem. All the carry marks that i have for this time totally different from what i have last semester, all 40++... but to this sem, what had happened to me?? lazy or something wrong with my interest??
For me to score A for every subject is totally hard except miracle happen in my life once again like my Basic C programming subject last semester. Today, i just manage to settled down two Islamic subjects. Total torturing me for the rest of 4 month early of this year. But during the final exam, i pay off some efforts for it and i believe this time i manage to score the maximum grade that i can get for this two subjects. No matter what grade i have, i still satisfy with it.
Two burdens laid off. Still got 4 to goes... have to strive the best because of my promise that i will do ever better duty to paid off my laziness throughout this semester. i have to punished myself for what i have done this semester. So no matter how hard the life for this final exam weeks, i believe i manage to overcome with faith and strength given by you all...

Pray for my final so that i can get 50/50 to cover up my carry marks.

Thermodynamic = 37/50
Mass Balance = 37/50
Engineering Math = 38/50
Material Engineering = 44/50
TITAS/Institusi-institusi Islam = ??
Engineering Drawing = A

Blessed and have nice day!! muackzz...

Friday, April 17, 2009

Memories of my Study Week Trip

After tiring trip back from Indonesia, i rested a day and i dont think i having nice rest at all.. my mind just thinking and curious of my coming trip on the next day i arrive JB. Would it be wonderful or just a normal trip? Plus i going to meet DD's dai lou and im really scare plus shy.. hurm.. dont know how to express this feeling.
Day past so damn fast and now im ready to go bus terminal heading for KL. Arrival at the time of 2.30pm as i expected, dd already waited me there for long time. Just upon the arrival, i straight go to buy the ticket back to JB as i calculated the amount of money that enough for me to stay at KL which is 3 days 2 nights. After all, we heading to BB plaza as we having date with dai lou there. Before this, he tried to call me few times but im still in the journey yet i didnt answer him and so called didnt realize i having phone call.
After arrive at BB plaza, we had been told to wait for awhile and starting that time my heart beat so damn fast because feeling shy to meet dai lou at that time. We straight settle down at Mc' D because dd say my big luggage back very annoying not disturbing for us to have a walk in BB while waiting.
OMG, i receive dai lou phone call yet i not dare to answer and i ask DD to help me answer the call. Dai lou had been told that we waiting for him at Mc'd, by the time we get ready to move, dai lou already arrived in front of us. Then we talk for awhile before we heading for our lunch. Gor realize that when i talk i not dare to look at him but just staring at DD. Haha.. SHY SHY SHY man...
But thing improve very fast that after period of time, i feel secure and happy to have gor with us. Treating a person that just meet for the first time so so good is very hard to find already in this globalisation world. Materialistic mind, individualistic minded person, selfishness, envyness and so called all the bad habits occur in each individual and last but not least, taking advantages on other. But i cant feel all those feeling that i have toward other in this brother heart. Caring and treating us very nice are the characters that i could feel in him.
Because cathing time for working, gor have to go after a long chat at Kim Gary Restaurant. Wow, gor really good in introducing foods for us. But sadly and really shy that gor dont let us treat him. This things happen for the rest of the days during my this trip. Really bu hao yi shi but nothing that i can do even DD himself also shy toward this situation,even i quarrel with DD for this matter. But due to further explanation, finally i accept DD explanation.
I didnt regret to go for this trip this time due to i learn even more things not only in my studies. I didnt waste my study week holiday i think as more worth than i staying at my hostel just sleep and eat and sleep and eat. Impossible for me to study during study week because that not me. I only manage to concentrate study a day before final exam just like what had happen during all my public exam whole of my life. Anyway, i really want to thank Dai Lou for giving such a great opporturnity to learn a lot from gor and surrounding this time.
Thank love family....

Sunday, April 12, 2009

The Journey to the Tsunami Soul City = Banda Aceh

Flying about the sea level leaving from LCC Terminal heading to Banda Aceh located at Indonesia, the place where Tsunami clean off all the villages near the beaches including the middle of busy city. We take off from UTM Skudai JB on Thursday 11pm heading to LCCT and having resting stop at Seremban stop at 3am before continue our journey to our final destination at Malaysia. Arriving at LCCT, we waited for around 3 hours before departure time which is 11.55am same as 10.55am at Indonesia. Before departure, everyone changes the money to rupiah and me myself I converted RM200 which is 620,000 RP. First time in history of my life I have million integer of money in my wallet. OKB… haha… It’s the time for us to depart already and everyone check in the luggage and passport as well. Suddenly the officer called our one of our team member name telling us that he can’t follow us going to Aceh because his passport expired soon less than 6 months. This is the last destination among us that he going back first before finishing the whole trip. Sadly he sends us off in the departure hall.

1 hours 25 minutes later, we had been told that we going to landing soon. I was really happy because this is the first time that I depart to another country using flight, my first international flight to another country. Yeah. After we arrive, the cars that coming from University Syiah haven’t arrive due to the prayer time at Aceh. So all of us we went to have our lunch first at somewhere near to the airport. And here come all the food that we eating for our lunch look nice and the price nice also. 1,000,000 RP equivalents to RM300++… Hurm all of us learn a good lesson and starting from that, every time we eat, we ask for the price and we rejected all the foods that we don’t want to eat.

The Kijang comes to fetch us to the place that we stay. Nice place to stay as well, but for three nights its costs us 900,000 RP, with air condition. We had been told that we going to rest until 3.30pm Indonesia time which is one hour earlier than Malaysia time. At Indonesia, we all use Indonesia time zone. At that time, then suddenly Abg Syai came to our room told us that everything cancel because they having PEMILU “ pemilihan umum” same like our “pilihan raya” holiday, so all the places that we had been assigned to go, all not open for services. But later, after certain phone calls had been made, my plan still on going which Bapak Yusof will comes to fetch us to his house. Four of us, Enaz, Shidot, Fareez and me will follow Bapak to his house and overnight at his house. He comes to fetches us at the time of 5pm. Before heading for the purpose of our surveying, Bapak brought us for a walk around Banda Aceh to that memorial park for Tsunami attack last 5 years.

First place first; Bapak brings us to the Mosque with name of Baiturehman which this mosque has its own history for Tsunami. When every house was destroyed by the tsunami, this only building stands strongly with the water surrounding and never enters into the building. Because of this happen, couple of non-muslim converted into muslim because of this incident happen.
This is the location of WKB ship which landed on the land after tsunami attack. The initial location of this ship is at the harbor of Aceh which is 2km from this location. This ship with the weight of 300ton able to be move so far from it location, and can we imagine how strong the wave of the tsunami? After all, this ship never been move back to its initial location due to its heavy weight and we had been told that before this, there lots of dead body underneath this ship. Around this ship, donator has built a park called Tsunami Educational Park which beatify this area.

Here is the location of where the tsunami had taken place. The first shown that the bridge undergoes compression and move from its original place to another new place. This is the leftover effect of the tsunami attack last 5 years. It’s been kept unconstructed again because it show us how great is the tsunami that attack Banda Aceh last time. Opposite is the small island surrounded this area and there are some island that had been destroyed by the might work of tsunami break into pieces.

After rounding the city of soul because of tsunami attack, we went back to Bapak house after the surveying at RAYMTA. We were taking turn to take bath while Ibu was cooking our dinner. After everyone ready to take dinner, we had been told that bapak and his family already taken they dinner. Hurm. Then 4 of us just take the dinner by ourselves. After dinner, we went to watch movie together with bapak family title of CintaFitri3. If not bapak switches off, I want to continue watching the movie because it really interesting movie.

We had been told to get ready at 9am because we going for surveying the software and wanted to buy some souvenirs back to Malaysia. Before leaving bapak Yusof house, we able to move near the lake. This place once was a paddy field and because of tsunami, this place becomes a lake full of fishes which normally the residence will fish here. We had been told that this place was full of dead body as well, some not been removed as well under the lake water.

This is the same location of the paddy field. This is the members of mine and takes pictures with them as a memory. From the left, Shidot, Angkasa’s mother, Enaz, Ibu, Bapak Yusof and last Fareez. Who is missing? Of cause me... Have to be the camera man for this picture. We take off immediately after taking this picture.

This is the road that just outside bapak Yusof house. Due to the straight long road, after tsunami, the dead bodies were arranged along this area. Million of dead bodies were located around this place because of nearby shopping mall as well as in around this riverside. This was really a totally great disaster and pain experiences for everyone who saw this happen in front of our eyes.

This is what we called Labi-labi at Indonesia. It’s a public transport that having the own route. Just like dabri but smaller in size. Opzz… what is dabri? Hurm.. Bus in malaysia. Haha… fun in learning new stuffs during this Indonesia trip. After this we heading for shopping our souvenirs and we did buy gift for Ibu which cost us 125,000 RP. We were shopping in this shopping complex which once was really big in size but now just ordinary size of hot without air condition shopping complex. This lift was destroyed after tsunami and due to the condition of this new complex without needing the lift to functions, this lift just leave unrepaired.

Hey Malaysian out there… we should be thankful for what we have now in Malaysia. Take a look on what the condition of Banda Aceh after tsunami. I really have heart pain of looking around this area. How can they survive under this condition? But what can they do as life has to goes on. Just can pray that blessing from other country continue to flow into them and able to build up this city into its original look.

This is the new museum build by the Indonesia government named as tsunami museum. Unfortunately, this time this museum hasn’t function yet because of under construction. Hopefully I will have the second chance to come here and have greater look around this area. Beside this museum was a field where before tsunami, an sport event was held and thousand of people die at this area. This is the symbol of the pen which means this area is the university area. People around here really care for the education. After this turn, let us see what next.
They have the election and that normal. But one thing abnormal is, there are 44 parties really to serve Indonesia. How the nation going to vote for the government? If me, I will just let off of this election due to headache of selecting the leader to serve the country.
After shopping, bapak Yusof sends us back to the place we stay because he going for his work soon at 12pm. We went back and take rest until 5pm. Then we decided to take off for bite of foods. We walk for long journey before we reach this cafĂ© named “master bakso” and this is the food that we eat for our lunch. After this, we went for a walk around and having our high tea soon. Hehe.. Fun place for high tea. Here we come.

Here the place we having our high tea. Hehe.. Small tiny chairs we sit on and having pisang goreng. After this place, we walked for very long and finally we came to one stop and buy some souvenirs just for me, dear dear and douglas didi.

Finally we come to the end of the trip. Thank god that I having safe trip going and coming back. Here the last scene of coming back to Malaysia. But I really want to finish out my saying. Hurm. Its really terrible dealing with Indonesia airport. Not systematic like what happen in Malaysia. So called ma fan in Chinese. In flight, this is the very first time that I having so adventurous flight due to the weather outside our flight. Sudden move of the plane make my heart like drop out for awhile before its continue to beat back in normal rhythm. Arriving at LCCT, we had been stop to come out from plane for 15 minutes because the plane door cant be open because of heavy rain. I was really happy that I able to message my dear at the time I arrive LCCT. I miss dear dear so much as 3 days didn’t message with dear dear. And here come all the final pictures that I have at LCCT airport.

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Blessing been taken away or good thing ahead coming soon....??

I was wondering after so long didnt attend and doing my responsibilties as a christian and my promise to God during Building Fund Plegde, something weird happening recently.... Bad luck and feeling of emptiness spiritually...

is this so called evil attack or a sign of warning for what i have done so far??

I become very playful and i did cause some problems to happen between me and my coursemate...even with my roommate.... i think i over played in that case and i feel like i going to spoilt this relationship with them.. its hard for me to accept the way she talks to me that night... i will remember that night forever and ever... when played of something, i hate people play fool of my academic...

And then today, i spoilt my handphone.. shit.. drop into toilet bowl.. i totally forget that i bring phone into this afternoon.. after drop then i realize my handphone... shit.. RM700 gone... and last week i spoilt my spectacle as well.. while walking back from ATM maching near HEP... another rm500 gone.. in not more than one week, RM1000++gone just like that...

Addition, today i went for sponsorship purpose for the GESS Camp and the first destination already showing something bad going to happen. Arriving the first station, everything is ready yet the sponsorship letter not with us.. failed.. went to second destination, ALUMNI UTM... at first we think that this place going to be successful for us.. But the answer is NO... who say this is a good place to as for sponsorship... look great yet nothing.. last but not least, we went to PUSAT KOQ and some techincal happen and yet today we doing something really foolish and wasting our time..

Imidiately afterall, something comes to my mind. is it because of going to far away from His guildance and way>?? All the blessing that i have last time is because i doing my responsibility as a christian should do.. but after so long, i didnt give offering and tithes to God... Is this a sign of punishment or a sign of something great going to happen in my life?? after all i having some transformation in my life of having initiative to do something spiritually..

Some say is taking away from me because He going to give me more..
what is the problem that i facing now??
Anyone can help me??

Sunday, April 5, 2009

Wonder of love

Why should i still taking into account our past in our life??
Should i still mind what happen in the past between u and my life before this??
Isnt that the most important thing is trusting each other/??
Who can teach me to overcome my jealousy??
i dont want because of me, my lover lost freedom...
Life should be colorful with the person we love....
Once i have it yet i destroy... now i have even wonderful colorful life with U and i believe this will secure forever.
as i grow mature i been able to secure something..
Dear give me time to overcome my jealousy..
i love u so much dear.. nothign much that i can say...